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my blood is wine, and i believe gsus told you to drink it.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Could you be pregnant?

I was having pretty severe stomach pains for a few weeks.
Finally, my stomach won. Throwing up blood, I threw up the white flag and went to see my doctor. Man, they sure ask a lot of questions. I hadn't slept with anyone in over a month an a half. So, why is it that whenever I'm asked he dreadful with-child inquiry my stomach jumps up to my throat, heart stalls, and eyes freeze open, all the while my brain neurons won't fucking fire!
Naturally, due to my reaction, I wound my in a chilly white bathroom holding a test. One I've passed many times over the years. Those two minutes take an eternity. Single line, frown face, blue shade all equate to:WHEW! Every time I pee on one of those damn sticks I promise myself that next time I'll be more careful.
I managed to dodge another bullet, so then what was wrong?
They needed to run more tests. Blood tests. :| I'd rather take another pregnancy test. I have this thing about seeing large amounts of my blood outside of me. I get very anxious with thoughts of--what if I get in an accident and I need that? It's mine. I'm not good at sharing.
"This will just pinch a bit." Followed by a wave oh shit. Yep. While they were drawing blood from my arm, I expelled it down the side of the wall divider. My life is painfully awkward most days. I'm allowed one stupid mistake a day so I don't beat myself up. On that Wednesday, spewing blood mixed with stomach acid was my stupid thing. I didn't pass this test. Turns out, I tested positive with H Pylori. It sounds prettier than it feels. A stomach ulcer? I'm not even stressed! I'm the happiest I've been in years!
"Amoxicillin and Prilosec that should do the trick, oh, and here's a list of foods you should avoid."
Junk food/sugary foods
Anything greasy or spicy--no fried cheese curds, no more chimichangas
tomato paste--which rules out pizza, spaghetti, lasagna
And absolutely no smoking
The sum of my daily caloric intake. "Dairy will be your friend. Eat lots of yogurt." Cool. Did I mention that I've had to carry around lactaid tablets for about 5 years now?
Me vs. H Pylori.
I do have something growing inside of me. Some days I wish it was a baby.
I don't want to be anorexic. Fuck, now I'm stressed.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Brittni i feel your stress!!! i had h. pylori for about 6 months last year. and then it returned to torture me some more. it effin sucked. but what sucked more was that i couldnt eat so many of those good foods, and COFFEE! and no smokes. (and ps i'm also lactose intolerant HA) and the pain, oh the pain, couldnt even stand sometimes. but alas, it's better than having a little fetus inside you eh?
    ::pats your belly:: =p