"Some people say you're crazy. I say you're my friend. Bleeding Swan, I need to find my way back to your neck of the pond one of these days." -Penguin. Sat, Jan 30 12:56 am.


"Who says I'm crazy?" -Bleeding Swan. Sat, Jan 30 1:09am.

http://jagjaguwar.com/blog/2010/03/justin-vernon-contributes-to-anais-mitchells-new-record-hadestown/
--just a taste of "Wait for Me"...I'm yours.


I'll be making a run to zee Electric Fetus tomorrow before work.
itching for my Justin Vernon fix

no catecholamines needed.

it swirls. rushes. fills my veins. ejaculates from my ventricles. contracts in my arteries. my arterioles. i dream of my blood turning into fire. not in a scary way. arousing. i watch it pulse. bright. blinding. dilating. expanding my world. i'm alive.

i'm going to paint it.

8)

edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros--bunch of creative genies!
Dali meets Gsus meets my dreams.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros "Desert Song" from benjamin kutsko on Vimeo.

crayolas have that smell. i'm four again.

Road to JOyii

Rid myself of vices:
PEOPLE-even if they're good people with good intentions, ultimately if they're hurting me i need to be without.
--More specifically, no boys for awhile. i'm a user...and i get used, but it's mutual. i'm uncomfortable being treated well, and fall for the ones leading to inevitable heartache. i've been using guys for physical and emotional gratification. i believe Elizabeth Gilbert said it best: I will no longer use someone as my scratching post.
ALCOHOL-it depresses and although it helps me sleep, i still dream in red.nightmares every night.my dreams used to be an escape, a land I longed for. i aim to arrive there again someday.

Start living. REALly LIFEing.:
NO FACEBOOK-waste.
Read more-fresh, new perspectives. Journey to the end of the night at zee moment.
MAster Chess.
Learn Spanish or French OR both!!-I love french cinema and their books--mmm.
Travel more, even small road trips to visit Stout or Ashland.
Volunteer again-Family Place in St. Paul--beautiful familes:]
Paint more-fresh supply of paints. go go go.
Go to more shows-Caroline Smith & the Goodnight Sleeps-tomorrow night, Atlas Sound-next Thursday, Cloud Cult, Jeremy Messersmith-Feb. 26th, Solid Gold-March 5th, Peter Wolf Crier, Bight Club, Lookbook, The Pines (SXSW sendoff)-March 6th
Treat people good. simple concept but i've been so caught up in my sadness this past two years. i've not been the friend i once was.

my heart needs a lovedance....dance it will with pages, pawns, tildes, open miles, children smiles, acrylics, beats and beautiful people.easy/lucky/free

pennies in a wishing well.

Everything has a price. Especially those advertised as free.

One of the most meaningful investments in life is an endured relation. The cost of these friendships are sometimes too heavy. I finally found a happy new guy...he's really blindsided me, completely taking me by surprise. He'll do anything to make me smile, and is such a genuine caring fellow..no hidden agenda, but part of me can't help but retract. I need to learn from my past without letting it dictate my future. But how? The more I learn, the less I know.