An unseen little baby bird...squish.
I must learn to be more mindful of the delicate ones in life.
It's bad karma.
Coming to stomp on me.

I could tell from the minute I woke up it was going to be a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely day.

"How are those thoughts of yours?" she asked in passing.
The song Lonely Day by Phantom Planet came on.
The irony brought a crooked smile.
"Those thoughts never really leave... I just try to keep busy
and distracted enough not to hear them,"
as I turn up the song and sing-a-long.

Lost

“Follow your heart”—words I strive to live by.
But my heart is a compass without a North.
Untrustworthy. Useless. His.

vvvvvvvv. vvvvvvvvv. vvvvvvvvv.

I smile everytime I get a message from you. Not because I find you funny, or incredibly witty, but because I drive with my phone between my legs....











on vibrate.

drip. drip.

A lost passionate art boy

A misunderstood music man

An insecure yet yummy film guy.

Is it the creative type that I should avoid? or just the wounded ones? because they tend to go hand-in-hand.

Lately, a bent writer has been hanging around. Really?? REALLY!?-let this one pass. Although I don't think it's possible to break a heart that's already broke, I don't want to test it.

My Angel

My angel is a 67 year old mentally challenged man. He comes in for his pool therapy and smiles for the entire 90 minutes. I imagine that smile never leaves his face. He's faced brutalities most cannot imagine, and yet he radiates the purest of love. He is not afraid to be hurt. He wears his heart on his sleeve and will do anything to see you smile. We can all learn something from Eddie. He calls me his angel, when he's the one doing the saving.

On a Happi note:}

"Hey hey, my my

You'd best learn to live

while you're alive

It's better to burn out

than to fade away

My my, hey hey"-Cloud Cult quoting Neil Young

I found a happi band that I genuinely dig!!
YaYaaaYayA! Maybe my next few posts will be more smiles than stinks.

sexy little black thing...

I bought this little guy mostly for me...to lounge in my cave...
He's never thought much of lingerie, it's just another barrier between him and where he wants to be, haha. Maybe I'll even light some candles. I haven't made this kind of effort for him in over a year. I go through the motions of when I used to care. I want to feel again...I want to care. He'll feel special, and he is. We'll fuck. All the while, I'll try to remember what it felt like to love.

My Heart is FREE

"Well, the first thing I remember is the last thing that I saw,

Morning hit the barrel of a rifle going off.

Then the daylight wrapped around me,

Then I heard the sergeant scream,

Then all my reservations fell gently at my feet.

Now my heart is free.

My heart is free, and all the things that hold a man no longer carry me. "-Tift Merrit

Oh, to be free. Freedom is not free. Death is guaranteed. The dead are freed from human sorrows, heartache, torments. True freedom is achieved in death. The cost of freedom is the price of life.